Not enough sleep....

Not enough sleep... 

So the mixed feelings are here again to torment me ... 



Why is it that these mixed feelings enter my brain? I don't know your guess is as good as anyones. I mean I treat my body and emotions like shit so that's probably the reason why, but still why are they so mixed and diverse....? Coldness creeps into my spine when I'm numb, It's really not uncomfortable, it's really just slightly reassuring, it lets me know I'm still a person, and that I've not lost all of myself to the darkness that eats at me constantly..... I don't even know if I can hold on much longer than this...... I feel like I'm losing everyone I've ever cared or loved in my life, I mean my parents are divorcing after 27 years of being together, my girlfriend is slowly fading away from me and reappearing in some other guys arms instead of mine, I've basically lost all contact with my friends from Cali. and my friends here are slipping past my fingers... I am dead to almost everyone I know and I am starting to think that everyone's losing interest in trying to save me or at least try..... Man this feel's like home.... this is all I've ever known, and It's all I'll ever know

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